I don’t know about you, but if someone asks me how my day went at work, my default response is usually, “Okay, thanks!” or “Yeah, that was ok!”.
So it’s no wonder that when children are asked, “How was school today?”, their answers are not enlightened in the least.
Most parents and caregivers will be greeted with a “fine” – and the conversation died a death.
HelloFresh research found that 88% of parents are dissatisfied with their children’s one-word answers. But maybe, just maybe, there are questions we’re asking.
Ruth Sturia, founder of Children’s Memory Book service provider, Color Chronicles, said the classic question “How was school today?” is a “dead end.”
“It’s a way for us to tick the box as parents, but it doesn’t give our kids the opportunity to share the little, funny, or surprising moments that truly define their day,” she said. “Those are the moments we will cherish the most.”
So what’s the answer? Because I’m also one of those parents who is exhausted by 5:00 p.m.
The key, she said, is to ask questions that encourage your child to be a storyteller, as this allows them to share information that you want to remember and record for years to come. Here’s what she suggested:
Questions to ask your child
- What is one thing you learned today that you didn’t know yesterday?
- What is one thing you did today that made you laugh?
- What did you play with at lunchtime?
- If you had a magic wand, what would you change about your day?
- Did you help someone today?
Research shows that using more open-ended questions can improve children’s language and vocabulary skills, and while the study was between teachers and students, we’re confident that it won’t be terrible for children at home either.
Not only that, but Endurance noted that the answers to these questions are often “priceless.”
“They are authentic little stories, silly thoughts and big ideas that get lost in the everyday,” she added.
“By asking the right questions, you can learn more about your child’s life and ensure that those memories aren’t forgotten in the long run.”
Developmental cognitive neuroscientist and psychologist, Professor Sam Wass also shared some questions parents might want to ask. Here’s what he recommends:
- How was (friend’s name) today, what happened to them at school?
- Did anyone say anything about your new hairstyle? (Or a pencil case, or a backpack, or shoes—anything your child is excited about will work!)
- How was history today? (What is their favorite subject?)
- What was the best thing that happened to you today?
- What was the hardest thing you had to do today?
Responding to a Reddit post asking for advice on how to get kids to open up about their school day, one commenter said that their friend “starts by not asking them anything, but telling them what she did during the day.” Then her kids tend to jump in and share what they did.
One parent said they ask their child about what food they ate or who they played with during playtime. They added, “I even throw in the cheeky ones, like who was naughty or if someone cried today, and she loves to tell me all about it.”
Another said they ask, “What was the peak and trough of your day?” (As in the highest point and lowest point of the day) and that usually helps their 10-year-old open up.
