Nicky Wake, a Manchester-based mother and entrepreneur, knew she was bisexual as a teenager.
“I remember … reading Seventeen Magazine. There was an ad with a beautiful woman promoting baby oil, and something just clicked,” she said.
And after she slept with a woman for the first time, Wake said she knew she “couldn’t ignore” her identity as a “proud bisexual.”
But for years, she shared, “Society put me in a neat box of being a straight wife and a straight mom,” thanks to her marriage to a man.
Now that she’s a widow, the 53-year-old wrote that she’s done with other people’s prejudices.
“I want women in the middle of nowhere to see me and think it’s okay to be bisexual and married, widowed, or in your 50s. There’s no deadline for living authentically,” she commented.
This Bisexual Awareness Week (September 16-23) the host shared her experience of feeling “erased” in her marriage—read by some as “straight”—and how important visibility is to her while rebuilding her love life.
“My sexuality didn’t disappear when I put on my wedding ring”
42% of bisexual people in the UK hide their sexuality at work due to fear of discrimination, Stonewall UK said in the Local
And because of biphobia and bisexuality, Glaad shared, many connected bisexual people will find that most people judge their sexuality based on who they are currently with.
For Mac, it was a frustrating experience. “Loving Andy never overrode my bisexuality. My great love was just a man,” she said.
“My sexuality didn’t disappear when I put on my wedding ring.”
However, not only did Andy accept and support her identity, Wake shares that she never let others’ narratives about her sexuality change her self-perception.
“I’ve always been completely open about my sexuality. I’ve seen more people identifying as bisexual now than ever before, and it feels empowering,” she said.
Now she’s increasingly embracing her bisexuality
Andy – Wake “The Rock” – died in 2022 after years of poor health.
After his death, Wake says she felt “guilty” about pursuing romantic interests.
But when she eventually took that step, sleeping with a woman “felt comforting.
“It helped me realize that my identity wasn’t gone, it was still a part of me. For some reason, it also made me feel less guilty than if I had slept with a man first,” Wake told us.
“Attraction doesn’t always follow neat lines. The more we talk about it, the more we dismantle prejudices. Bisexuality isn’t something you grow out of or hide from, it’s something to embrace and celebrate.”
Since losing her husband, Wake has created Chapter 2, the UK’s first dating app for widows and widowers, as well as the flirty Widow’s Fire and the sober friendly Mindful Love in the Area.
For her, embracing her bisexuality as a widow “isn’t about who I date next. It’s about me saying I’m bisexual without hesitation, I’m proud, and I’m not going to be invisible anymore.
“Bisexual Awareness Week is the perfect moment to celebrate this and remind others that being bisexual is valid at every stage of life.”
