10 Most Selfish ‘Simpsons’ Characters, Ranked

There are many, many characters in The Simpsons . They’re all great, and they’re all funny — but that doesn’t mean that they’re all upstanding citizens of Springfield. Some of them are nice, and a bunch of them aren’t so nice. After all, a community worth watching for 36 seasons is going to have its fair share of characters whose self-interest drives them more than anything else . Even members of the Simpson household can be pretty selfish, usually Bart ( Nancy Cartwright ) and Homer ( Dan Castellaneta ). These two can be among the most selfish characters in the series, even, but it very much depends on the episode. Sometimes they can be very selfless, and sometimes it’s a mixture of both.

The most selfish people in town are more consistently conceited—to the point where it’s kind of their thing. We see this person, and we intuit right away that they’re probably going to do or say something that displays very little care for others . Whether it’s a school bully, an escaped felon, a doctor so bad that he poses a danger to society at large, or someone who functions as a common antagonist, these names shouldn’t be too big of a surprise. They’re not all necessarily trying to destroy the world; they’re just willing to do many things that ensure their own goals are met. Ranked by how much they’re willing to do that clearly only benefits themselves, how little they take others’ well-being into consideration, and the scale of their influence on society at large , Springfield’s most selfish citizens are comically bad influences.

10

Nelson Muntz

Voiced by Nancy Cartwright

A kid whose catchphrase is “Ha-ha!” while pointing at someone in a degrading situation is probably not very nice. This kid would be Nelson Muntz (Nancy Cartwright), and he is the most significant bully at Springfield Elementary . Introduced in Season 1’s “Bart the General,” he beats Bart up so often and so severely that the young Simpson needs the help of a war veteran to get some revenge.

He usually doesn’t get revenge, though. Nelson also beats other kids up, including and especially Milhouse ( Pamela Hayden ). Another one of his signatures is punching someone while making it sound like the poor kid deserves it (for example: “That’s for selling out your beliefs” when he forces Milhouse to swear that global warming is a myth). That said, this kid has oddly been shown to be both more of a neutral or even a nice presence in later appearances. Still, though, Nelson is typically looking out for himself.

9

Roger Meyers Jr.

Voiced by Alex Rocco

Roger Meyers Jr. (Alex Rocco) is the CEO of Itchy and Scratchy International (aka Itchy and Scratchy Studios), which makes him a man who’s got his eyes squarely on the money. He only appears prominently in a handful of episodes, but he makes it clear in that time that he’s only interested in using his money and power to hold onto his money and power.

In one of Marge’s greatest stories, Mrs. Simpson (Julie Kavner) writes a letter to Roger Meyers Jr. about her concern about his cartoon’s persistent violence. His reply is hilariously mean, calling her a “screwball” who won’t be able to make a difference. This is not to say that he wants kids to take after their cat and mouse idols; he just doesn’t care. We’ve also seen him use his resources to try and cover up the fact that his father stole the idea for the cartoon from someone else. Along with the irresponsibly monitored Itchy and Scratchy Land, it seems this man is all about the big bucks.

8

Krusty the Clown

Voiced by Dan Castellaneta

Krusty the Clown (Dan Castellaneta) is, first and foremost, a terrible influence on his impressionable viewers. So many Krusty products have been given this clown’s approval that it’s astonishing that he isn’t bunkmates with Sideshow Bob (Kelsey Grammar)—who was driven to homicidal lunacy by Krusty himself. Sure, he didn’t know that Bob was going to go nuts, but he never seemed to care when his sidekick expressed that he didn’t want to be, say, shot out of a cannon.

He’s not nice to his newer sidekick, either. As Sideshow Mel (Castellaneta) sadly claims, “You can be so cruel when you’re sober.” Krusty’s best episodes show him to be a pretty complex character. He does bring entertainment to a lot of kids, and he can occasionally do something nice. However, he’s very selfish in the grand scheme of things. He calls himself a sell-out in “The Last Temptation of Krust,” which is an apt term indeed.

7

Dr. Nick Riviera

Voiced by Hank Azaria

He has such a friendly greeting, but it masks the monster within. His name is Dr. Nick Riviera (Hank Azaria), and he is a disgrace to the medical community. He gets so much attention for a doctor who doesn’t know how to do anything a doctor does. It’s clear as soon as we meet him that he’s an illegitimate physician, made even more obvious by the fact that he’s in cahoots with the worst attorney in town.

Is it really so selfish to be bad at your job? When that job is medical doctor, one-thousand times yes. Who knows how many people he’s given terrible advice to, how many important surgeries he’s botched, and how much money he’s made from them despite his incompetence? In “Homer’s Triple Bypass,” we see a former patient with arms for legs and vice versa—thanks to Dr. Nick’s surgery. He’s a controversial figure in the community who needed Lisa’s (Yeardley Smith) help to give Homer proper surgery, which shows that he doesn’t necessarily want to harm people. He just doesn’t care enough to learn how to avoid that issue.

6

Lionel Hutz

Voiced by Phil Hartman

The funniest ambulance chaser of all time is none other than Lionel Hutz (Phil Hartman). When we’re introduced to him (in one of Season 2’s best episodes), Marge literally says that she saw him chasing Bart’s ambulance. Lisa sizes him up as “a shyster” the very first time she meets him, and she hits it right on the money. If someone is injured, Mr. Hutz doesn’t care about their well-being; he just wants to use them to turn a profit.

There are so many instances to show that Mr. Hutz is a terrible lawyer and his gross incompetence is the first thing we think of when we see him. He seems to always be in debt or in legal trouble himself (no doubt for his shady practices), which makes it seem like he should really stop trying to win cases for people. Court cases are pretty important, and representing others without the knowledge or skills to have any chance at winning is very selfish. Does he mean to lose these cases? No, but his drinking habit and other red flags suggest he isn’t trying nearly as hard as he should.

5

Sideshow Bob

Voiced by Kelsey Grammer

Sideshow Bob is one of the best characters in the show, and that’s largely because he’s a diabolical villain. He frames Krusty the Clown for armed robbery in Season 1’s “Krusty Gets Busted;” he tries to kill Bart’s Aunt Selma (Julie Kavner) after marrying her for her money in Season 3’s “Black Widower;” he tries to kill Bart in Season 5’s “Cape Feare;” he commits election fraud in Season 6‘s “Sideshow Bob Roberts;” and more.

Though he doesn’t show up as often as other characters, that only makes his occasional appearance all the more striking. Bob can use his charm and intellect for any host of things, but he keeps going back to felonies. He isn’t always evil, like when he actually helps Bart and Lisa stop his brother from blowing up a dam in Season 8’s “Brother From Another Series.” However, the exception isn’t enough to ignore the status quo.

4

Snake

Voiced by Hank Azaria

When someone’s name is Snake (Hank Azaria), it’s a bad sign. This guy is the face of low-level crime in Springfield: he steals cars; he robs the Kwik-E-Mart at gun point; he robs other places at gun point; he steals cars; he goes to prison; and he breaks out of prison. Plus, he rigs card games; he nearly decapitates Homer with piano wire (which then slices off Mr. Van Houten); he set an orphanage on fire; he blew up a bus full of nuns (which he calls “self-defense”); and so many more things that the list of offenses can go on forever.

In light of that list, it goes without saying that none of these crimes have been for the benefit of anyone other than Snake. He’s the dictionary definition of selfish, the epitome of what a man with very little power can do when he doesn’t care at all about other people. Has he ever done something to benefit his community? Unlikely.

3

Fat Tony

Voiced by Joe Mantegna

The leader of the Italian mafia in any show is likely to do a lot of things that most of society would call selfish. That goes double for Fat Tony (Joe Mantegna): he has people killed, he dumps their bodies in places all around Springfield (disguised as laundry), he strong-arms people into doing what he wants, he threatens people who owe him money (including gambling-addicted Krusty), he steals cigarettes to sell them illegally, and so on.

Fat Tony is even guilty of betraying people in his own inner circle. In Season 3’s “Bart the Murderer,” Bart is put on trial for the murder of Principal Skinner (Harry Shearer). In the court of law, Fat Tony claims that Bart killed Skinner and even has the audacity to say that Bart is the head of the mob. This betrays a level of selfishness that is more than just about his indifference to anyone outside the mafia; Fat Tony’s just looking out for number one.

2

Mayor Quimby

Voiced by Dan Castellaneta

Mayor Quimby (Dan Castellaneta) is the face of large-scale corruption. He makes shady deals with the police behind the scenes. He has an endless number of extra-marital affairs (not to mention illegitimate children). Quimby regularly steals from public funds , like when he tries to take a million dollars from the penalty the city fined Mr. Burns (Harry Shearer) for. He makes derisive comments about the voters behind their backs, and it seems like he only does things the people want so he can get their vote .

This man doesn’t even believe in democracy, despite being elected to office. In “Krusty Gets Cancelled,” he shows no remorse whatsoever when he tells a large crowd that he took money from the city treasury to pay for his political enemies’ demise. Diamond Joe will clearly do whatever it takes to stay in power and keep the money flowing into his bank account . Given the amount of influence he has on society, Quimby’s level of selfishness affects so many people that he’s clearly one of the most evil characters in Springfield .

1

Mr. Burns

Voiced by Harry Shearer

There is only one man who can rival the corruption, narcissism, and power of Springfield’s most influential politician: Mr. Charles Montgomery Burns (Harry Shearer). He is so comedically demonic that it’s hard to know where to begin here. One of his catchphrases is “Release the hounds,” an order that leads to Burns’ house guests getting chased out of the building by aggressive dogs. There’s also the fact that he runs a nuclear power facility that causes very obvious pollution throughout Springfield —causing such things as sentient trees and three-eyed fish.

Burns has beaten people, has killed people, and bribes the government to let him keep breaking the rules. He sadistically laughs about the time when he repeatedly ran a guy over with a bumper car, and he goes so far as to block out the sun so that the town has to rely on his electric energy for light. He’s done other things, of course, but you get the picture. As Monty Burns’ most spectacular episodes demonstrate, he’s as selfish as it gets.

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